Take control of your relationships.

Instructions

Talk to your partner about values.
Clarify your own values and ideas about what you consider a fulfilling relationship and your partner’s values and ideas.
Decide that being in love is more important than being right.
This allows you to interrupt your own patterns when your desire to be right leads to conflict.
Develop a pattern for when things get heated.
Use a bizarre or humorous pattern to interrupt arguments.
Change your vocabulary.
Use words that lessen the emotional intensity of arguments.
Plan regular nights out.
Plan to have dates at least once a week or twice per month.
Show affection daily.