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Chapter 7: Create the Illusion of Control

All negotiation, done well, should be an information-gathering process that vests your counterpart in an outcome that serves you.

When people feel they are not in control, they adopt what psychologists call a hostage mentality. In moments of conflict, they react to their lack of power by either becoming extremely defensive or lashing out. One of the most powerful tools for rejection, or active resistance, is asking the other side for help. These questions are called “Calibrated Questions”, and they are a powerful technique for transforming confrontational negotiations into problem-solving sessions.

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